Thumper
by Team Edcob
Summary: Jacob has been avoiding Bella ever since he got sick at the movies. Bella knows something is wrong, but doesn't know what, but shes going to find out. Takes place in New Moon.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight, that belongs to Miss Stephanie Meyer. **

**Jake had been avoiding me for a week now. Not seeing him was driving me crazy. Ever since Edw…he left I've been trying to ignore the pain I fell in my chest when I think about him, but since I started hanging out with Jacob, the hole seemed to heal, but when he got "got sick" it seemed to tear open again. I'm going to to do everything I can to get my friend back so I don't go back to be a "zombie" as Charlie called it. That's why I decided I would go to Jakes today and try to figure out what's been going on. I took a shower, brushed my hair and teeth, and put on something presentable to wear. After I was done I headed downstairs to tell Charlie that I was going over Jakes. I found him at the table eating eggs. "Hey dad. I'm going over to Jakes. I'm not sure when I'll be back." He looked up from his plate to look at me. "That's fine. Have fun!" Charlie told me enthusiastically. I walked out the door and to my truck feeling guilty. I'd never told him that we haven't been speaking. As far as he knows, everything is fine between us. Hopefully after today they will be. **

**I drove down the familiar route to the Blacks house. The drive seemed to go bye quickly. I was in La Push in no time. As I parked outside the familiar house, I took a big breath. "It will be ok Bella", I told myself. I walked up to the front door, took another breath, and knocked. No one answered. I pressed my ear to the door. I could faintly hear voices inside. They were ignoring me! I knocked again. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. UGH! I was really pissed now. "I'm coming in whether you like it or not!" I said confidently. I opened the door and let myself in. In the living room were 3 dark skinned boys looking very pissed off. Jacob was one of them. I walked up to Jacob, feeling less confident than before. "I want to talk to you." Jacobs glare didn't falter. His usually happy and carefree attitude seemed to have been replaced by a solemn demeanor. "About what Bella? I'm busy!" He spat angrily. My hope diminished. "Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked warily. He looked at me and didn't say anything. I took a first look at the two other boys. One face was unfamiliar, but one I knew. Sam Uley. At that moment everything seemed to click. He was part of Sam's gang now! I hastily turned back to Jacob. "So your Sam's pet now? Is that it?" I asked him loudly. His whole face hardened. "It's not what I thought. He's different." He said gravely. "Than why haven't you answered any of my calls?" I countered. "Its for your own good Bella. We can't be friends anymore, you'll be safer that way." He said, his eyes flickered to Sam. My heart sank. I felt like crying, but I wasn't going to be weak in front of him, especially now. "Why Jake?" I asked, holding back tears. "I'm sorry." Was all he said . I couldn't hold back any longer. "But you promised Jake!" I told him desperately, tears flowing freely now. His eyes softened. He looked torn. He glanced over at Sam. He looked at Jacob, then me, than back at Jacob. His eyes closed and he sighed. He opened them and nodded, answering an unspoken question. Jacob turned back to me with an excited smile on his face. "Ok, you know the first time we met, on the beach?" He asked eagerly. I nodded confused, but happy that he was talking like his old self again. "Do you remember the legends I told you about?" He asked. There was only one that mattered….. "The vampire one?" He shook his head. "No, the other one. Do you remember what I said?" He asked. "Not really…" He sighed in frustration. "Think about it! Come on Bella you know this!" He said, almost like he was reassuring himself. I just sat there confused. "You'll have to show her Jacob." Sam said. Jacob nodded. "I will, but I don't want to scare her. I'm going to tell her first." I was nervous at what he was going to say. "The other legend was about werewolves Bella. There real. And so are vampires." He told me in a rush. I stiffened. I knew vampires were real, but werewolves… I wasn't so sure. But then again the Cullen's were vampires, which up till then I thought were fake, so I guess werewolves could be real too. "So you're a werewolf?" I asked, thinking I had it figured it out. He shook his head. "No something much more dangerous than that. Our grandfathers were werewolves. Our generation is something different." He said. I began to think this whole thing was a joke. "Than what are you then?" I asked skeptically. He looked at Sam, who nodded again, and took a big breath. "Ok. Bella I'm a………. rabbit." He said as if he was confessing to a murder. I immediately started laughing. Jacob looked confused. "What?" I tried to control myself. "Stop playing around Jake! What are you really, or is this whole thing a big joke?" I asked, mad again. The guy sitting next to Sam muttered "knew this would happen" under his breath. "It's not a joke Bella. I'll prove it too you." Jacob said, looking at Sam. He turned back to me. "I'm going to change Bella. Please don't be scared I'll look different, but it's still me." I waited for something to happen, but nothing did. I was about to yell at Jacob for tricking me, when I heard a ripping noise. I also noticed that he wasn't in his seat anymore. I looked all around for him, but couldn't find him. I got up to leave. This was stupid. If he didn't want to tell me he truth, fine. On my way out, Sam grabbed my shoulder. "What?" I asked, fed up. He said nothing, but pointed to the ground. I looked where he was pointing and screamed. **


	2. Manager

Chapter 2: Manager

There at my feet was the most terrifying rabbit I have ever seen! It was dark gray color. Its tall ears were bent over back words resting on his back, giving him an evil look. His teeth were barred, he looked very scary. I crouched down to get a better look. "That really you Jake?" I asked feeling kind of silly. I was talking to a bunny! It nodded its head. I looked at him in wonder. My best friend, Jacob Black, was a rabbit. Muscular, tanned, tall, good looking Jacob, was a rabbit, Oh my….. Then everything went black.

A bunch of angry bunnies with hats were gathering around me like a bunny mafia. The biggest one came right up to me, so that is face was right in front of mine. "This will only hurt a lot Bella." The rabbit said smiling evilly, revealing some VERY pointy teeth, like fangs almost. Then I woke up.

Around me were two shirtless boys, and an hysterical Jacob. He was laughing so hard he was coughing on his own spit. "Are you ok?" Sam asked me. I sat up, I realized they had placed me on a couch. "Ya. I'm fine. I suddenly remembered why I was here in the first place. Images of rabbits with fangs came to mind…. I shuddered. "What's so funny?" I asked Jacob, who was still having a fit, while I glaring at him. He finally calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence. "I'm sorry Bella. You said something really funny in your sleep." He said suppressing laughter. Uh-oh. "What did I say?" I asked him, wondering if I was better off not knowing. Jacob just broke off into another round of laughter. I looked at Sam, who looked like he wanted to laugh too. "You screamed: THE MAD HATTER IS GOING TO KILL ME!" The guy standing next to Sam said. I blushed dark crimson, "And you are?" I asked trying to change the subject. "Paul." he answered. Jacob was still laughing. I threw a pillow at him. "It's not THAT funny Jacob!" I said angrily. He continued to laugh. "Whatever Jake, I'm leaving." I said and got up and walked to the door. He stopped laughing. "I'm sorry Bella. "I'll stop." He said. I was getting really frustrated with this whole situation. "So you're a rabbit?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant. He nodded. "What about Sam and the others?" "Me, Paul, Jared, Embry, and Quil are all part of a pack." He said. "What about Sam?" I asked, pointing over to where he was standing. "He's the manager at Petco."

For those of you who don't know who the Mad Hatter is, he is a character from Alice and Wonderland.


	3. Waking Up

_**Chapter 3: Waking up**_

_**Edward POV**_

_**I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I had just woken up from the first sleep I've had in decades. Emmett was watching Opera yesterday, and they had a sleep therapist tell the audience tips on how to get a better nights sleep, and I happened to over hear some of it…. And now here I am, waking up from the first nights sleep I've had in a LONG time. I think it was the best sleep I've ever had, even though I haven't actually slept for a long time till now, but it was also the most frightening. The dream, no, nightmare about Bella and Jacob was enough to make me sick. She was associating with an animal that could very easily kill her!! It was just a dream though, thank heavens. I was getting all worked up for nothing. She was perfectly safe. Knowing I had nothing to worry about, I drifted back to sleep….. Courtesy of Dr. Oz of the Opera show. **_

_**Emmett POV**_

"_**Mmmm.. Opera." Edward mumbled in his sleep. Me and the others struggled to control our laughter. Alice brought one finger to her lips, telling us to be quiet. **_

_**Edwards POV **_

_**I was awake, but I didn't want to open my eyes. I was fully rested, I didn't have any nightmares to keep me from enjoying my sleep this time. I was very peaceful, lying there with my eyes closed, at least I was till I started to hear feet shuffling on the floor. I blinked a couple of times to let my eyes adjust. And when they did there were 6 large bunny rabbits hovering over me with large fangs. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"**_

_**Alice's POV**_

_**Edward just ran out of the room screaming like a five year old girl. Emmett, Jasper, and Carisle, were on the floor, looking like they were about to die from laughter, while me, Rosalie, and Esme were giggling like mad. We must have been quite a sight for Edward. Six vampires in bunny costumes and fangs. We continued to laugh when Edward came back in the room with a pink hello kitty pillow held in front of him as if it was a lethal weapon. "Stay back", he warned. Emmett came up to him and said "BOO!" Edward screamed, dropped the pillow, and jumped out the nearest window in nothing but his yellow 'Dr. Phil is for losers, watch Opera' boxers. We all started laughing again even harder. Then we all screamed at once: "Happy Halloween Eddie!" **_

_**THE END. **_


	4. IMing with the Cullen's

This a small story that I'm adding to the story Thumper, which is the first funny story I've done in this series, and this is the second. Just a short story about the Cullen's instant messaging. I hope you like it! (especially Hollster09!)

SparklyLion- Edward

ViciousPixie- Alice

TeddyBear- Emmett

EMOtionalguy- Jasper

I'mBetterThanBarbie- Rosalie

FragileLamb- Bella

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ViciousPixie has signed on.

ViciousPixie- WHO WANTS TO GO SHOPPING!?!?!?!?!

I'mBetterThanBarbie has signed on

I'mBetterThanBarbie- ME! A new Barbie doll came out today! I want to buy it and take it to my plastic surgeons office and show him what I mean by 'boobs like Babies."

Teddy Bear has signed on.

TeddyBear- I wanna come!

ViciousPixie- No! Girls only!

TeddyBear- Why? Is Rosalie the only one who can have Barbie boobs?

I'mBetterThanBarbie- YES! Emmett you don't have boobs!!

TeddyBear- yet…

I'mBetterThanBarbie- WHAT??

TeddyBear- Oprah says it's ok! WHATEVER OPRAH SAYS GOES!

I'mBetterThanBarbie- You know Oprah died right?

TeddyBear- WHAT!? NOOOO!!!!!

TeddyBear has signed off.

ViciousPixie- boy he's easy to trick…

EMOtionalguy has signed on.

EMOtionalguy- I'm sensing a lot of jealousy from someone.

SparklyLion has signed on.

SparklyLion- Why does Emmett get to have Barbie boobs?? I want them too!

FragileLamb has signed on.

FragileLamb- WHAT??????

SparklyLion- C'mon Bella! I wanna jiggle too!

FragileLamb- I don't jiggle…

SparklyLion- Ya you do. Like a bunch water balloons on a trampoline!

FragileLamb- Edward! I can't believe you would say such a thing!

ViciousPixie- It's not Eddie's fault you didn't follow Jenny Craig.

FragileLamb has signed off.

I'mBetterThanBarbie- Emmett, Edward, you both can't go.

TeddyBear-AWW!!!

SparklyLion-AWW!!!

ViciousPixie- Rosalie, if you want to go lets go. Before you know it Jasper will say he wants boobs too!

EMOtionalguy- Well now that you mention it…

ViciousPixie-NO!

I'mBetterThanBarbie- NO!

EMOtionalguy- FINE! Jeez!

ViciousPixie and I'mBetterThanBarbie has signed off.

EMOtionalguy- what a bunch of bra stuffing meanies!

TeddyBear has signed on.

TeddyBear- So, Jazzy what's your favorite show?

EMOtionalguy- Dora the explorer. DUH

TeddyBear- NO WAY! ME TOO!!

EMOtionalguy- Dora's hot!

TeddyBear- She's alright… I like the monkey!!! He's so cute with his little boots!!

EMOtionalguy- Alice looks like Dora, don't you think?

TeddyBear- A little bit, Alice weighs a little bit more than Dora though..

EMOtionalguy-At least she's always warm!

FragileLamb has signed on.

FragileLamb- Emmett Oprah is on!

TeddyBear- ooo YAY!

TeddyBear has signed off

EMOtionalguy- Soo, how's like Bella?

FragileLamb- Were dead remember? We don't have lives.

EMOtionalguy- DEAD!?! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!! I HAVEN'T MET PAULA YET! I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TO CHUCK E. CHEESE YET!!

FragileLamb- Chill Jasper your not dead. Your just a vampire, remember?

EMOtionalguy- Oh yeah… WAIT! I CAN SPARKLE! YAY!!!!!!!!!

FragileLamb- oooo shiny!!!!!!!!!

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I hoped you liked it! My next short story will be about the Cullen's going to Wal-Mart! Look for it soon! J


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